She Is A Leader - The Podcast

Yvonne Heimann [00:00:05]:
And we are back on the couch. Fresh coffee. And back to a solo episode of Boss your Business. I wanted to dive deeper into this idea of taking your power back, reclaiming your voice and rewriting your story.
If you listened to the last episode I've done solo, I talked about a lot of lessons I learned, a lot of lessons that came back again in 2024. And I wanted to dive deeper into that lesson and into that piece of taking your power back. And I wanted to share the story about speaking up and owning my voice. And I know, I know I've had the conversation lately where people were like, but you are so strong. You are such an extrovert. You are so, so Yvi. And yes, I am.

Yvonne Heimann [00:01:20]:
When I'm in public situations, I can own a stage. I'm going to be loud. I'm going to be excited. I'm going to be passionate. I'm all those things, and I am all those things. Now. What happened behind the scenes is that I had lost again the trust in my own power, my own intuition, myself. So let's start in the beginning.

Yvonne Heimann [00:01:48]:
How did I get here? And how did I lose over $15,000 to this? Yeah, we're gonna come. I'm gonna talk about all of this. So as a kid, I. I was always the one that took on the bullies. I was the one that stood for what's right, that took on teachers, all the things. And then at some point, I became the outsider. I became the weird one. I became whatever it was, whatever it was.
I never had a huge pool of friends. I often just had a couple. And I've seen everybody else with these huge groups of friends. And being homecoming queen as an explanation for my Americans here, everybody knows them, everybody's friends with them. And I was often finger pointed. And it put me over the years into a situation where I thought I wanted that. I thought I wanted hundreds and hundreds of fans and huge following and be that. And that in combination with having had people in my romantic life that couldn't take that big personality, that passion, that drive that started to make me smaller, that started to tell me I can't reach that, this is too expensive, those goals are too big.

Yvonne Heimann [00:03:44]:
You can never do that. And this is an issue. And that is an issue. And they just projected their limiting beliefs on me. At some point, I started to believe that the combination of their limiting beliefs being imposed on me with being that outsider because I didn't follow the common path. I didn't follow that story that everybody was told our path was supposed to be. I looked more and more outside of me for answers. If that was the money I put into coaches believing they would have the answer, but me not asking the right questions.

Yvonne Heimann [00:04:38]:
I was caught in this. Oh, that person. That's what I want. Spending the money, joining them, me not asking the right questions, them not asking the right questions to come. Then it's. It's funny because I. I looked outside of me for all of these answers. I looked outside to get that recognition, to get the confirmation of what I'm doing is important.
What I'm doing is right. And a big lesson for me in 2024 was that. And it seems, looking back, it seems so simple, like, how did I get caught up in this? We all know that. We all know that outside of us can't give us value. We are the only ones that can give us value. We are the only ones that can take our power or give it away. We are the only ones that can make the decision of this is important for us. Now, I'm not taking anything away from coaches, consultants, mentors.

Yvonne Heimann [00:06:00]:
The problem here is when you are focusing on a specific process. So, for example, you made the decision, you want to do group coaching. Cool. You find yourself a mentor or a coach that can help you with that. The problem is that coach doesn't know if you have done the work to know what you don't know. And that is the right decision for you. So when you. When you look at the coaching market right now is ev.
Oh, my God. Yeah. But welcome to another lesson from 2024. So many coaches have specialized themselves on one single thing. One thing. Cool. You want to automate your business. You want to.

Yvonne Heimann [00:06:50]:
You want to do group coaching, you want to do VIP days, all the things. But none of these specialized coaches ask the question of is this even right for you? They are all going by the assumption that you have done the work that needs to be done to make the decision that that process is the right process for you. Yeah. And that's exactly the trap I fell into thinking I had done the job without working with somebody doing the things that I do for my clients. I literally do this for work, to figure out what aligns with your core values, your passion, and building a business that excites you. I had fallen into this trap of giving my power away and telling other people to tell me what's the right thing, not them asking me to figure out what's the right thing. So I completely gave that power away. And with that, I also gave away my voice and my passion and lost the drive of doing what I want to do.

Yvonne Heimann [00:08:05]:
Interestingly enough, I now have two people I have worked with that I ended up being a guinea pig in their program, and they closed it down or took a hiatus of it after I left. That's a whole nother interesting thing. But here's the thing. I needed to learn this lesson because coming back around is I gave away my power. Great coaches, great mentors are invaluable. They cut so much time from learning lessons and learning those processes. You just need in that mix of your support community of the people that you lean onto. You need somebody that ask the question you don't know yet to ask.
And it's been interesting how it brought me back around to all of my NLP training. I had started NLP to get out of those cycles, to get out of, oh, my God, I see what I'm doing, but I can't do anything about it. I. I don't know where to poke a hole into it. I don't know how to get out of this, but I'm seeing myself doing the same over and over again. And coming back around to this NLP training where it's like this didn't align with me because it didn't align with my subconscious core values. So I went back to the tools I have to the resources I have and focus back onto what are my core values, where is my passion, and how does that all come back together? Everything starts with me. And the same for you.

Yvonne Heimann [00:10:04]:
We have the resources, all of these processes, all of these ways of running a business, all of them work. There is enough people out there that have proven that all of these ways of running a business works. You need to figure out or have somebody help you figure out how that aligns with you. And that's how you take your power back. Now suddenly you have that core framework. You have that clear understanding of who are you, what drives you, what are the things in your life that trigger you, what are the things in your life that make you procrastinate really understanding you is taking back your power, taking back your strength, and then you can bring in the people to help you and support you. And not only that, suddenly when you focus on your voice, your power, your core values, your personality, your passion, now you are taking your voice back. And not only that, now, suddenly, now, suddenly I came back around to that trailblazer that I was as a kid, the stepping up for the kids that were bullied, fighting.

Yvonne Heimann [00:11:50]:
What I know in my core is wrong. And that's where my passion for my business and what I do came back and where I have found the strength to say, yes, I'm a leadership coach for women. Because guess what? Women lead different than men. And I cannot tell you how a big fight it was to say, yes, I'm a leadership coach for women. I don't want to do leadership for men. I want to do it for women. I want to have women in more leadership positions. I want to have women making more money.
I want to have women enjoy their life and a business that supports them. And I want women to have the freedom of choice to do what they want to do. And it's like saying it out loud, becoming again the person that fights the bully. Now suddenly is putting a fire under my ass where you get stuck. You get stuck in content creation or worrying about or wondering about what to talk about and who to connect with and the content to create. Your passion is not aligned. Because guess what, it's like that energy I feel when I'm in that power, when I am voicing the impact I want to have, it fuels everything else. It puts me into a complete different energy level.

Yvonne Heimann [00:13:41]:
I show up completely different. I speak different. And now suddenly, and it's funny how it comes all back around. So if you are struggling with what fuels you, what excites you and what you want to do, go back into your childhood. What did you do before you were told you can't do it, and now suddenly, I promise you, I promise you, when you look at what excited you and what you did and what you spoke for before you were told you can't. You are going to find your passion again. You are going to find that thing that makes you you. And then it's going to take some.
Some work. It is going to take talking about it over and over again and showing it and owning it and eliminating all of these people that told you you can't. And chances are the universe is going to put somebody in front of you again to test if you will own your voice and your power. It will test you. It will put people in front of you that are going to tell you you can't. And it is going to take practice and developing the habit of reframing it. When somebody comes to you and tells you you can't, it's because of their own limiting belief. It's because they believe they can't and they are just reflecting that onto you.

Yvonne Heimann [00:15:21]:
It has nothing to do with them. Nothing to do with them. It has all to do with them and it has nothing to do with you. That's what I was going to say. It is. It is their limiting frame of reference they have of what's possible. And maybe in the future they can change it, maybe they can't. But it has no impact on you.
It has only an impact on you if you are giving them the power to make that decision over you. And that makes you make that decision. When you are grounded in what you stand for, who you are and what you want to accomplish. Nobody outside of you can make you feel anything. And you might have heard that from my coach, Matthew. Matthew Riven. Love him to pieces. He talks about those "make me feels" and make me feels are giving your power away.

Yvonne Heimann [00:16:24]:
Nobody can make you feel anything because if you are secure in yourself, anybody can say anything and you're just like, whatever, that's, that's you, that's not me. And really digging into this, understanding you again, understanding your power, understanding your goal, understanding your purpose, understanding your story and how you are triggered will give you that power to figure out when somebody is asking good questions or when somebody is just reflecting down bullshit onto you. So I invite you, ask the difficult questions. Look into your childhood. What were you excited about? But what also triggered you? Where have you been told lies? and surround yourself with people that don't just talk at you, but with you. Surround yourself with coaches and mentors that ask about you. There was one situation with one of my past coaches where I said something, I hate doing the same things over and over again. And she took it as yeah, then your program shouldn't be six months.

Yvonne Heimann [00:17:42]:
Get it done fast. That's not what I said. It was completely off center. I hate doing the same thing over and over again means I hate sending the same email over and over again, showing up and having different conversations and teaching different things. I love that for months on end. Hell yeah. Doing things over and over again just means I need to record those lessons and not teach it again and teach it again a month or two down the road when it's getting even better. When it's even more optimized.
It means that I don't want to teach you the same ClickUp template over and over again. I want to have different conversations. I want to do different things. It doesn't mean that I shouldn't be running a six month program or a 12 month program. It means running them efficiently and automating them so that coach didn't ask the right questions. Find yourself people that are asking the right questions and asking for clarification. Cool. You don't like doing the same thing over and over again? What specifically does that actually mean? Those people are the ones you want to have in your life.

Yvonne Heimann [00:19:20]:
The people that are asking the right question and leaving the power with you with their questions. And look, I also had to look at myself. I am so caught up in wanting to deliver solutions that often enough I catch myself not asking the right question sometimes not talking with my people, but actually at my people. Here's your solution. But is that actually the right solution for you? And that's where implementing all of these things, asking all of these questions now you are taking your power back and you are speaking your own truth. You are reclaiming your own voice and you are going to write your own story. Did I mention I really love these solo episodes? I get to share so much more about what's happening behind the scenes, so we might actually do more of those. So make sure you hit that subscribe button so you don't miss any of the solo episodes coming up.

Yvonne Heimann [00:20:28]:
And reach out. Reach out. I want to hear your stories of where you might have given away your power or how you have reclaimed your voice. Especially with the book I'm working on right now. Maybe you end up in the book. Reach out on social media, newsletter, wherever it is. I'm monitoring everything. I want to hear your story.
How did you reclaim your power? How did you take your voice back? I'll see you in the next episode. Bye.